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BFP at 12 DPO. Oh. MY. Goodness!

This morning, I woke up with a lower temperature and felt the gloom and doom descend over me like some kind of hateful cloud. I started to go through the whole, ok, so if this is another negative month, if my period comes, how am I going to deal with it. My stomach was cramping, my CM felt a little more watery– I thought crap. This is it. Its over.

So, I decided to get it out of my system and take a test. I normally do this when the gloom and doom sets in to make it so I know that it’s time to just prepare for the flow to come. It almost lets you stop being so positive and crazy optimistic and just get over the hump. It makes the arrival of the period somewhat LESS painful, it’s like knowing it’s going to rain a few days beforehand so that you take your umbrella with you wherever you go. I ran a bath, grabbed a stack of books I wanted to flip through and decide what to read (nothing baby related, mind you), and peed on a First Response Early Response. I set it off to the side and then soaked into the tub.

A few minutes later, I looked over— expecting to see one, lonely line. Instead, I saw two lines. I freaked the F out. I jumped up, started calling for my husband, “honey, honey, honey, honey” — he probably thought there was a spider or something, especially since I said I wasn’t going to test yet. I screamed “we’re going to be parents! It’s positive.” Along with some other kind of mumble jumble. I asked him if he saw the lines too (he did!) and here, in it’s glory:

 

Those are two very nice lines, if you ask me. Lines of promise and purpose. Lots of happy HCG!! I cried. I laughed. I cried some more. I stared at it, took photos of it, cried, wanted to tell the world but told my blog and fertility friend. I exclaimed, “I knew my boobs were different!!” because out of all the crazy, phantom pains and aches and weird things I experienced as symptoms a few things were really consistent this month: My boobs (sore, felt firmer, and my nipples are different– with all these bumps all over them), really bad headaches, strange dreams, and lots of peeing the past 48 hours.

Now what do I do (other than dance around and sing happy songs)??? I feel like I have spent so much time researching facts in the TWW that I don’t know what to do about the time that follows. Like, are these cramps normal I am currently feeling? Should I obsessively test,test, and re-test? When should I go see my doctor? I have that to hash out in the days that follow. But for now, here’s what I learned about my baby from Fertility Friend, since I’m now in “Week 4”:

“The fertilized egg, which is now a ball of cells, will continue to move down your fallopian tube until it reaches your uterus. It will stay there for approximately three days before it embeds itself in your uterine lining. This is implantation. During implantation the fertilized egg can attach to the lining of your uterus and begin to receive protection, oxygen and nutrients from your bloodstream.

Your baby-to-be is still just 0.014 to 0.04 inches in size (0.36mm to 1mm). Though your future baby is still minuscule, great developments are being made. The placenta and vascular networks are forming. Germ layers that develop into specialized parts of the body, such as organs are also developing. Cells continue to divide. Some cells will become the placenta and others will form the amniotic sac where the baby will develop. Other cells will become the yolk sac which is responsible for producing blood corpuscles. In spite of the rapid cell division that is taking place, your baby is so tiny right now that he or she is barely visible. This is the week that your baby will transform from a blastocyst (a ball of cells) into an embryo.

The embryo at this time becomes differentiated into three different tissue-types: The inner layer, called the endoderm, will form the lungs, liver, digestive system and pancreas. The middle layer, called the mesoderm, will become the skeleton, muscles, kidneys, blood vessels and heart. The outer layer, called the ectoderm, will become the skin, hair, eye lenses, tooth enamel and nervous system. The cells from each type of tissue will move around to the appropriate location. The embryo is shaped like a teardrop.”

The teardrop shape seems appropriate because all I want to do is laugh and cry.

I {still} can’t believe this. I think I’m really in happy shock. I will continue to update as we travel on this happy journey with all the twists and turns.

 

 

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